We’re almost there, people! You can expect an email from us pretty much every day as we move towards the moment we have all been waiting for:
Please read this email carefully. It’s long but covers the following important info:
- Passport & Citizenship Documents
- Packing Lists & Suggestions
- On-Board Dos, Don’ts & Details
- Safety Third
As always, shoot MM an email if you have any questions.
Passports & Citizenship Docs
We’re putting this at the top of the list because out of 1,200 hashers, statistically, a few will forget or lose their passport and will not be able to board without it. EuroHash had 2 of 800 hashers in this category, so please please please pack your important documents NOW!
PASSPORT vs. ID CARD: If you are flying in, make it a point to use your passport for your flight check-in instead of your driver’s license. Find a secure place in your carry-on designated for your passport to keep it safe and accessible.
LOST PASSPORT: If you discover that your passport is lost or expired, you CAN board with a birth certificate (original or certified copy) and a government issued photo ID. We just don’t recommend going this route as primary proof of citizenship because if you should need to fly home from Nassau, a passport will be required.
PASSPORT CARDS: Passport cards are not accepted for international flights. You can use it for check-in for the cruise but it’s also useless if you need to return home on a flight from Nassau.
FORGOTTEN PASSPORTS: If you forget your passport and have someone to FedEx it to you in Palm Beach, you will be able to purchase a flight to Nassau and catch the boat there. This would need to be coordinated with the cruise line.
GLOBAL ENTRY: If you have Global entry, BRING YOUR CARD. It will make coming back through customs a breeze.
Packing Lists & Suggestions
If you are going to spend your entire trip on the Nekkid Deck, this is going to be an easy pack! We can’t give you EVERYTHING you are going to need, because your packing lists should differ according what you plan on doing — excursions, pools, trails, theme parties — but we have have a few suggestions.
BRING A DAY PACK OR CARRY-ON FOR CHECK-IN: On entering the terminal, your luggage will be taken to go through a security scan. The next time you see it will be hours later on board the ship when it is dropped off outside your cabin door. Make sure you have a change of clothes, swim suit, prescriptions, and any other essentials in your carry-on.
LANYARD: You will need to have your cabin keycard and on-board charge card with you all the time. Some like to wear lanyards for this. Unlike other cruises, you will not be able to punch a hole in the cards for a clip, so bring the pouch kind. SPOILER ALERT! You will receive something in your gimmie bag that will also allow you to carry keys, phones, etc. around your waist if you aren’t a lanyard fan.
TEA LIGHTS: Hate turning on a bright bathroom light when you get up to pee at the night? Bring a few LED tea lights for a night-light to guide you to the loo.
TOILETRIES: Bring your own shampoo and soap. The stuff they provide is quite crappy.
MAGNETIC HOOKS/CLIPS: Great for hanging damp swimsuits, hats, and other lightweight items on the wall. Clips hold notes and door decorating items (read on for more on door decorations).
MULTI-OUTLETS: You get ONE outlet in your cabin. There are lots of cool adapters out there that turn that one outlet into several outlets and USB ports. Find one WITHOUT A SURGE PROTECTOR fo all your gadgets.
ROOM ORGANIZERS: Some people like to bring over-the-door shoe organizers and pop-up wire laundry baskets to keep things tidy in the cabin. (See 21 Unusual Items video below for more details.)
On-board Dos, Don’ts & Details
- Cabin Door Decorating
- The Crew
- Muster Drill
- Dining Details
- Money & Payment Options
- Photo Ops
CABIN DOOR DECORATING: Feel free to make your door fabulous! Not only does it entertain your hallmates, it makes it easier to find your cabin late at night when cabin numbers become a challenge. Math is hard. Damaging the door or paint is fine. By that, we mean you will be PAYING A FINE TO REPAIR IT.
YES!: Magnets, painter’s tape, poster-mounting putty, and super-hero gravity shifters
NO: Scotch, masking, packing or other adhesive tapes, stickers, glue or welding torches
THE CREW: The folks working on board our cruise are mostly from developing countries, and are working their asses off on months-long contracts to send money back to their families. They are remarkably kind and friendly, and give you excellent service. Please be kind to them.
TIPS: Your basic tips are covered but feel free to additionally compensate anyone who goes above and beyond for you.
SERVICE ISSUES: If there are any issues, let the people at BPCL’s customer service desk know.
RESPECT: The crew comes from many backgrounds, cultures, and faiths. Nudity and obscene behavior may be offensive to them. Yes, it’s our cruise but please be aware and respectful.
NOTE: Staff is aware of the Nekkid Deck and it will be staffed accordingly.
SHENANIGANS: Don’t seduce the crew. Period. It may be all fun and games to you but they could lose their jobs. And really, there are enough willing hashers on board to get wet with.
MUSTER DRILL: This is a mandatory safety exercise that will take place shortly after leaving port. THE DRILL CANNOT BE COMPLETED UNTIL EVERYONE IS ACCOUNTED FOR and no drinks will be served until it has been successfully completed.
Here’s what will happen: Shortly before the drill, the BARS WILL CLOSE. At the scheduled time, the ship’s alarm will sound. You will finish your drink STAT and go to your assigned muster station. Your muster station is listed on the back of your cabin door and on your charge card. Crew members will take attendance as you enter — make sure you get checked off the list. Once everyone is accounted for, there will be a (boring but) brief presentation on what to do if we hit an iceberg and how to put on a life jacket. STFU and it will be over quickly and the IAH festivities will resume.
IF YOU CONSIDER SKIPPING IT, YOU WILL EFFECTIVELY DELAY THE START OF IAH 2019.
Crew members will: Page you over the intercom repeatedly — by hash name AND nerd name. The pack will wait in their stations. Without drinks. Crew members will be dispatched to your cabin and will personally escort you to your station. The pack will hate you with their drink-less eyes. If you can’t be found in your cabin, you will continued to be paged, the crew will continue to search the ship, and the hashers will hope for that iceberg just so you don’t know how to save yourself.
Don’t be that hasher.
This cruise is all-inclusive, meaning you have several dining options available to you that are included in your rego, but there are also additional options for purchase:
DINING ROOM: A dining experience with lots of options and a 4-course meal at dinner. Don’t expect to be done with breakfast or lunch in less than 30 minutes, and dinner with dessert may take up to an hour. While most of the menu is complimentary for us, you may have an option to purchase the steakhouse and/or premium seafood items.
BUFFET: If you want a quick meal, hit the buffet — a good variety of ready-to-eat food at all meal times, including late-night snacks.
POOLSIDE GRILL: All-day items available at the poolside grill during the day with pizza is available late into the night.
SPECIALTY OPTIONS: For a special occasion or just because you deserve it, make a reservation (on board) at Admiral’s Steak and Seafood for a premium, more intimate dining experience. Bull Gourmet Burgers will also be available for purchase poolside.
There’s only one place you can spend actual cash on a cruise ship: the casino!
To purchase anything else like gift shop items, duty-free liquor, spa treatments, bingo cards, high-end whiskey, shore excursions, photos, etc., you’ll use your on-board charge account that is connected to your preferred card. You’ll set this up when you check in for the cruise.
CREDIT CARDS: At the end of the cruise, the card is charged and you’re done.
DEBIT CARDS: Debit cards may see a “hold” of $200 during the cruise to ensure the funds will be available at the end. As you spend, so BPCL will continue to generate additional holds as long as funds are available on your card. If your card limit is reached and gets declined, you will have to go to the front desk to make other arrangements.
CASH: You can put down a $200 cash deposit at check-in and settle up with the ship at the end of the cruise. As with the debit card, once you hit your cash balance, your on-board card will no longer work for purchases and you’ll need to go to the front desk to make other arrangements.
When you disembark, you have to get your card scanned as you exit the ship. If you owe money, you will get redirected to a customer service line to settle up.
There will be photo stations and photographers stationed around the ship, especially at night. Stop by with your frands, get snapped, and then go “find yourself” in the photo gallery.
Photos are managed by BPCL for an additional fee. They aren’t cheap but sometimes you might want a printed photo to remind yourself that you were on The Hash Boat!
Metal, metal everywhere, and gravity sucks! We are also providing you with a fair amount of booze — what could go wrong, right?! Statistically, there will be blood on the deck at some point. Don’t let it be yours.
- Use handrails going up or down stairs.
- No risky horseplay.
- Throwing someone in a pool doesn’t make you clever, it just makes you an asshole. People get hurt.
- No one randomly falls off a cruise ship without doing something stupid. If you fall or jump off this ship, you are NOT getting back on. Know this. Believe this.
- Look out for each other. Witnessing an accident you might have been able to prevent implicates you too.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU OR A FRIEND NEEDS ASSISTANCE: Find the nearest crew member (or MM member, but going direct to the crew member will get you help quickest) and explain the issue. Go the the Medical Center if they are open: 8:00-11:00 am / 4:00-6:30 pm daily.
NOTE: USE THE MEDICAL SERVICES SPARINGLY
Medical expenses on board are not cheap and will need to be paid in full before disembarking. While your insurance might reimburse you after the fact, you will pay full price at the time of medical treatment, so don’t go there for something mild. You definitely don’t want to go for hangover treatment. If you present symptoms that could be a virus, you CAN BE QUARANTINED in your cabin. BYOHT.
Right, that’s all for now! Stand by for your next IAH installment!
As always, you know where we are if you have questions.
Your IAH MisManagement Team